This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website: Find out more.
Office Hours : We are open 24 hours everyday including weekends and public holidays
Office Hours : We are open 24 hours everyday including weekends and public holidays
Funerals are an important step in the grieving process, as well as an opportunity to honor a life lived. They offer family members and friends a caring, supportive environment to gather and support each other in a loss, as well as to celebrate the life that has been lived. Browse our list of frequently asked questions and answers to get to know more about the whole process.
When someone dies, the first steps you need to take will depend on how and where they died. If someone dies at home and their death was expected, call the family doctor and nearest relative. If the death was expected, for example due to a terminal illness, in most instances the doctor will issue a medical certificate of the cause of death to allow the death to be registered. An unexpected death may need to be reported to a coroner. A coroner is a doctor or lawyer responsible for investigating unexpected deaths. They may call for a post-mortem or inquest to find out the cause of death. This may take some time, so the funeral may need to be delayed.
If someone dies in hospital, the hospital will usually issue a medical certificate and formal notice. They will support you with the next steps you need to take. The body will usually be kept in the hospital mortuary until the funeral directors or relatives arrange a chapel of rest, or for the body to be taken home.
A death certificate can be gotten in 3 different situations. If deceased died in the hospital (a doctor will have to certify the deceased and issue a death certificate). If the deceased died in an unnatural situation. (a coroner will be contacted and a postmortem enquiry will be made which will lead to a pathologist, issuing the death certificate. If the deceased died of known cause and a doctor has already been attending to him/her, the private doctor issues a death certificate. A death certificate can be requested in the hospital if the deceased has been managed by the hospital prior to his/her demise.
A death certificate contains important information about the person who has died. Details vary from state to state, but often include: Full name, Address, Date, Place, and Time of death, The cause of death, Circumstance of death, Age, Sex, Full name of doctor and signature, Stamp of hospital.
The death of a loved one brings with it an overwhelming number of decisions – especially if there has been no pre-planning. The truth is, the majority of people in our culture have not even had the important discussion of what they want done with their remains, leaving a lot of questions and planning on the shoulders of loved ones, to be managed at a time when they are incredibly vulnerable. It is tempting in such moments to give a funeral home, planner, or similar organization carte blanche, just telling them to do whatever is necessary, to make it nice, and you will worry about the money later. When later comes, though, you will likely have sticker shock. Let’s take a look at some of the ways in which you can protect yourself:
Plan! If you aren’t handling a loss now, this is the time to talk with loved ones. We always think there will be more time – I’ve heard people speak of individuals in their 90s saying, “We always thought we had more time to talk about such things…” We never know when our number will be called. Have the important conversations with loved ones now. Let them know your preferences. Ask them theirs. Perhaps even take the next step and make it formal. Not only does it help us have those important discussions, it also can make one feel more alive to have talked openly about what is traditionally taboo and fear.
Understand Your Options: There are many options, from traditional funeral, to embalming (or not), home burial (where allowed), natural burial (where allowed), direct burial, cremation, direct cremation, and many more.
You also have other options in terms of what is purchased and used, as well as ways in which you can memorialize someone. There is a wide range of cost within most of these options, as well.
Acknowledge You are Grieving and Vulnerable: Too often we think we are ok, and handling things just fine. The truth is, you are handling things just fine, even when you aren’t – because that is grief. It is messy, it is chaotic, and it is raw. That said, even if we can call that fine, because it is as it should be, it doesn’t mean you aren’t vulnerable, or that you are in a position to make the best decisions, especially when it comes to making choices for your loved one’s remains. Acknowledge that grief can make one vulnerable, and be prepared to ask for help from trusted individuals who have no connection to your loved one.
Take Time for You: I know you may feel like all you are doing is taking time for you as you fall into grief, unless you are instead throwing yourself into planning and talking with others. Whatever it is that you can do to best handle things, DO IT. Make sure you take a few moments to just breathe. Try to eat – I know it will be hard. And – it is ok to go into your grief, to experience it. There are stages of grief to move through – you must move through all of them. You can try to stuff it back inside, but it will only come out in some other way, when you are least ready for it. Make time for whatever you need. If you feel you need help or someone to support you, reach out.
Work with a Mourning Doula: When thinking in that fog that leaves you vulnerable, having someone by your side who understands the industry and options, as well as common up-sells and ways in which to reduce costs, can potentially save you a small fortune, while also ensuring that you are more likely to achieve a service that actually fits what you would have wanted. You don’t want to be one of those people who walk into a funeral and feel the deceased never would have wanted this, right? Getting the right, non-biased, emotionally un-related individual in place to support you can go a long way in helping you best advocate for yourself and your dead. Yes, a friend can play this role, but they won’t know the ins and outs the way your Mourning Doula will, and – you have an emotional attachment to your friends – you may not receive ideas or suggestions from them in the same way you would from a third party. (this is the same reason why we discourage our Mourning and Death Doulas from working professionally with their own family and friends)
Do Take a Moment to Review Cost: I know this is difficult. I know you are possibly overwhelmed with grief, and nothing is too good for your lost one, no matter what the cost. Unfortunately, though, your loved one is gone. The truth is that our funerals are more for the living. Sure they acknowledge the life lived and celebrate those times, and honor the individual we are saying goodbye to. However, they have now moved on – and all of those things, acknowledging and celebrating their life and honoring them – can be done without breaking the bank, or having to mortgage your home, or sell your first-born. Letting the funeral director or planner know that you DO care how much things cost, and perhaps even what your maximum budget is can go a long way to preventing sticker shock. Get it in writing.
If you would like to find out how a funeral plan could save you money and put your mind at ease, then please contact us to arrange an appointment.
